Dating in Your Thirties is a Bitch But You're Brave Enough to Handle It
After The Coitus Chronicles came out, I wanted to stop writing about my love life. I was tired of failed relationships and “getting back...
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- Jul 2, 2021
- 4 min
Wanna Know Why I'm Still single?
When you're in your mid-30's in the Midwest and you've never been married, people try to figure out what's wrong with you. Somehow, it...
- Feb 22, 2021
- 6 min
How to Spot a Narcissist
This morning I read about FKA Twigs and her abusive relationship with Shia LaBeouf. I don’t know how to write this so I’ll just do my...
- Oct 22, 2020
- 4 min
Confessions of a Binge Eater
“What’s the difference between being a foodie and binge eating?” my friend asked me. "Well," I said, " The difference is that I’m not a...
- Oct 8, 2020
- 5 min
He told Me I was the The Ugly Friend
When I was eighteen someone told me I was the ugly friend. Just like that. I don’t know why he said it. Maybe he was cruel. Maybe he...
- Apr 15, 2020
- 4 min
LOVE IS LOOKING FOR YOU TOO
I was dating someone recently. Now I'm not. I'm sad but not as sad as I could be. I'm used to it by now. I’ve spent the majority of my...
- Feb 6, 2020
- 5 min
A Letter to Myself at 21
Hey Girl, You look good. You don't think so, but trust me, you're lookin' real fly. We're turning 31 next week and I've been thinking...
- Feb 1, 2020
- 7 min
How My Fear of STD's Almost Ruined My Life
When people hear that you wrote a book about sex, they assume it's about fetishes, BDSM classes, and raunchy boning, and yes, while...
- Jan 16, 2020
- 4 min
You're Not Alone
When I was eleven, I was short and fat. A girl in my math class told me I smelled. That was the year people realized what popularity was....
- Mar 7, 2019
- 3 min
I Write about SEX.
Hi. My name is Olive and I write about sex. Not always. Not often. But occasionally. More frequently than most people. Sometimes...
- Feb 3, 2019
- 3 min
Showing Up on Valentines
I’ve loved Valentine’s Day for as long as I can remember. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday. When I think of February 14th I’m reminded...
- Feb 1, 2019
- 3 min
Protecting your Heart is Keeping you Single
“Don’t text him. You don’t want to invest in him if he’s not invested in you. You gotta protect your heart,” my well-intentioned friend...
- Oct 28, 2018
- 2 min
Spoken Word: Broken People Break Other People
It was February and I was smiling because I was thinking of you. And you were sad because you were thinking of her. That pretty much set...
- Sep 23, 2018
- 5 min
Olive Performs at the Sexting AF
Olive Persimmon performs at the Sexting AF. I Talk Dirty: I talk dirty. In bed and online and if you know me, it’s no surprise. Because...
- Sep 13, 2018
- 4 min
WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF:
WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF: 1. Hair doesn’t grow all the way up the penis (Chewbacca-style). Pay more attention in Sex-ed. If...
- Aug 15, 2018
- 2 min
Your Vagina is Not a Gateway to Narnia: A Letter to Myself
Dear Olive, This is your older/wiser self writing you from one week in the future. Growing up is all about learning and reflecting on...
- Aug 10, 2018
- 3 min
A Woman on the Prowl
I wanted to make out with someone. An ex. A hot guy at the bar. I didn’t care. I needed to feel lips on mine. Ever since Jason and I...
- Jul 29, 2018
- 3 min
How to Add Sex Toys in the Bedroom
“Why use sex toys?” our amazing Sex Educator, Laura Delarato, begins. She’s cracking jokes and making sure everyone feels comfortable....
- Jun 1, 2018
- 2 min
50 Shades of Gentle
It’s a tale as old as time, passed down from men to boys. “Nice guys finish last.” The popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” has complicated...
- May 23, 2018
- 2 min
Am I a Real Person?
DO I even exist? Lately people have been uncertain if I am a person. It all started last Tuesday when my friend wanted me to review her...