olive b. persimmon blog

Apr 4, 20234 min read

The Most Difficult People are Usually the Most Afraid

I’m a member of an enthusiastic team-based gym. The kind where you high five after every workout and yell things like “you’re crushing it...

0 comments

Mar 30, 20232 min read

The Things Not Meant For Me

I was listening to a Taylor Swift song the other day (huzzah Swifties unite) and one of the lyrics hit me to my bones. The line was ”You...

1 comment

Mar 16, 20234 min read

Dating in Your Thirties is a Bitch But You're Brave Enough to Handle It

After The Coitus Chronicles came out, I wanted to stop writing about my love life. I was tired of failed relationships and “getting back...

0 comments

Jul 14, 20226 min read

How to Spot a Narcissist

This morning I read about FKA Twigs and her abusive relationship with Shia LaBeouf. I don’t know how to write this so I’ll just do my...

0 comments

Feb 24, 20224 min read

Wanna Know Why I'm Still single?

When you're in your mid-30's in the Midwest and you've never been married, people try to figure out what's wrong with you. Somehow, it...

0 comments

Feb 1, 20224 min read

Confessions of a Binge Eater

“What’s the difference between being a foodie and binge eating?” my friend asked me. "Well," I said, " The difference is that I’m not a...

0 comments

Oct 8, 20205 min read

He told Me I was the The Ugly Friend

When I was eighteen someone told me I was the ugly friend. Just like that. I don’t know why he said it. Maybe he was cruel. Maybe he...

0 comments

Apr 15, 20204 min read

LOVE IS LOOKING FOR YOU TOO

I was dating someone recently. Now I'm not. I'm sad but not as sad as I could be. I'm used to it by now. I’ve spent the majority of my...

0 comments

Feb 6, 20205 min read

A Letter to Myself at 21

Hey Girl, You look good. You don't think so, but trust me, you're lookin' real fly. We're turning 31 next week and I've been thinking...

0 comments

Feb 1, 20207 min read

How My Fear of STD's Almost Ruined My Life

When people hear that you wrote a book about sex, they assume it's about fetishes, BDSM classes, and raunchy boning, and yes, while...

1 comment

Jan 16, 20204 min read

You're Not Alone

When I was eleven, I was short and fat. A girl in my math class told me I smelled. That was the year people realized what popularity was....

0 comments

Mar 7, 20193 min read

I Write about SEX.

Hi. My name is Olive and I write about sex. Not always. Not often. But occasionally. More frequently than most people. Sometimes...

0 comments

Feb 3, 20193 min read

Showing Up on Valentines

I’ve loved Valentine’s Day for as long as I can remember. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday. When I think of February 14th I’m reminded...

0 comments

Feb 1, 20193 min read

Protecting your Heart is Keeping you Single

“Don’t text him. You don’t want to invest in him if he’s not invested in you. You gotta protect your heart,” my well-intentioned friend...

0 comments

Oct 28, 20182 min read

Spoken Word: Broken People Break Other People

It was February and I was smiling because I was thinking of you. And you were sad because you were thinking of her. That pretty much set...

0 comments

Sep 23, 20185 min read

Olive Performs at the Sexting AF

Olive Persimmon performs at the Sexting AF. I Talk Dirty: I talk dirty. In bed and online and if you know me, it’s no surprise. Because...

0 comments

Sep 13, 20184 min read

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF:

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF: 1. Hair doesn’t grow all the way up the penis (Chewbacca-style). Pay more attention in Sex-ed. If...

0 comments

Aug 15, 20182 min read

Your Vagina is Not a Gateway to Narnia: A Letter to Myself

Dear Olive, This is your older/wiser self writing you from one week in the future. Growing up is all about learning and reflecting on...

0 comments

Aug 10, 20183 min read

A Woman on the Prowl

I wanted to make out with someone. An ex. A hot guy at the bar. I didn’t care. I needed to feel lips on mine. Ever since Jason and I...

0 comments

Jul 29, 20183 min read

How to Add Sex Toys in the Bedroom

“Why use sex toys?” our amazing Sex Educator, Laura Delarato, begins. She’s cracking jokes and making sure everyone feels comfortable....

0 comments