olive b. persimmon blog

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Oct 22, 2020
4 min

Confessions of a Binge Eater

“What’s the difference between being a foodie and binge eating?” my friend asked me. "Well," I said, " The difference is that I’m not a f...

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Oct 8, 2020
5 min

He told Me I was the The Ugly Friend

When I was eighteen someone told me I was the ugly friend. Just like that. I don’t know why he said it. Maybe he was cruel. Maybe he beli...

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Apr 15, 2020
4 min

Someone is Waiting for You Too

I was dating someone recently. Now I'm not. I'm sad but not as sad as I could be. I'm used to it by now. I’ve spent the majority of my li...

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Feb 6, 2020
5 min

A Letter to Myself at 21

Hey Girl, You look good. You don't think so, but trust me, you're lookin' real fly. We're turning 31 next week and I've been thinking abo...

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Feb 1, 2020
7 min

How My Fear of STD's Almost Ruined My Life

When people hear that you wrote a book about sex, they assume it's about fetishes, BDSM classes, and raunchy boning, and yes, while that'...

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Jan 16, 2020
4 min

You're Not Alone

When I was eleven, I was short and fat. A girl in my math class told me I smelled. That was the year people realized what popularity was....

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Mar 7, 2019
3 min

I Write about SEX.

Hi. My name is Olive and I write about sex. Not always. Not often. But occasionally. More frequently than most people. Sometimes comedica...

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Feb 3, 2019
3 min

Showing Up on Valentines

I’ve loved Valentine’s Day for as long as I can remember. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday. When I think of February 14th I’m reminded o...

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Feb 1, 2019
3 min

Protecting your Heart is Keeping you Single

“Don’t text him. You don’t want to invest in him if he’s not invested in you. You gotta protect your heart,” my well-intentioned friend A...

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Oct 28, 2018
2 min

Spoken Word: Broken People Break Other People

It was February and I was smiling because I was thinking of you. And you were sad because you were thinking of her. That pretty much set ...

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Sep 23, 2018
5 min

Olive Performs at the Sexting AF

Olive Persimmon performs at the Sexting AF. I Talk Dirty: I talk dirty. In bed and online and if you know me, it’s no surprise. Because y...

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Sep 13, 2018
3 min

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF:

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 14-YEAR-OLD SELF: 1. Hair doesn’t grow all the way up the penis (Chewbacca-style). Pay more attention in Sex-ed. If ...

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Aug 15, 2018
2 min

Your Vagina is Not a Gateway to Narnia: A Letter to Myself

Dear Olive, This is your older/wiser self writing you from one week in the future. Growing up is all about learning and reflecting on you...

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Aug 10, 2018
3 min

A Woman on the Prowl

I wanted to make out with someone. An ex. A hot guy at the bar. I didn’t care. I needed to feel lips on mine. Ever since Jason and I brok...

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Jul 29, 2018
3 min

How to Add Sex Toys in the Bedroom

“Why use sex toys?” our amazing Sex Educator, Laura Delarato, begins. She’s cracking jokes and making sure everyone feels comfortable. It...

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Jun 1, 2018
2 min

50 Shades of Gentle

It’s a tale as old as time, passed down from men to boys. “Nice guys finish last.” The popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” has complicated ...

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May 23, 2018
2 min

Am I a Real Person?

DO I even exist? Lately people have been uncertain if I am a person. It all started last Tuesday when my friend wanted me to review her p...

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May 3, 2018
1 min

I Indulged My Friend's Tickling Fetish...

“I have a bunch of weapons if you want to use them,” Ryan said, reaching inside the black drawstring bag. He pulled out a hairbrush. “Wea...

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Apr 16, 2018
3 min

Denial Doesn't Work in Art

In my last post I stated boldly that I wanted to kiss someone and I didn’t care who it was. I also brought up deli meat and confessed to ...

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Feb 22, 2018
2 min

People Are Complex (So Are You)

Five attractive female butts are staring at me from my computer screen. I’m looking at the photos we’re going to use to rebrand this very...

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